mental.euphoria

Anonymous asked: have you worked at arbys?

Bitch, I ain’t no Barbie. 

Let bygones be bygones.

It’s been a while, but I need to put my thoughts somewhere. I don’t know what’s going on, whether it be the lack of sleep or what, but I can not stop thinking about everything. My thoughts magnifies the very emotions going through my head.

I don’t understand if you’re upset with me. If you are I have no idea as to why, whether it be with good reason or not. I would not want to hurt you in any way, and this feeling I have between us just makes it hard to reach out to you. I’m finding myself taking offense from every little thing you say. I am trying to be your friend and what you said really did upset me. I’m trying to forgive and forget, but it’s so hard when he very fact that you said the things you did messed with my head the most. It’s hard, I feel like you’re taking everyone away from me. I really, honestly, do not mean to be so dramatic about it, but if this is what it has come to, then so be it. The people who love me love me for me, not for what I can bring to the table.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it since then. I don’t know how to take it. I didn’t think anything like that would happen between us, but I can’t say I didn’t want it to. I wanted it, but it didn’t feel right. It could have been great, but it wasn’t and now I can’t stop hoping that it’d happen again so that I could make it memorable without regret. I don’t regret what happened, but to say the least, I’m not happy with it. I am a good person, and I let people get the best of me. I need to know that you are still my “biffle” without this mess. If not, there can be nothing more than two old friends catching up.

I’m happy for you. I really am, surprisingly. I hope she makes you happy. She may not be the best choice in my opinion, but you should be happy and if she does that for you, than so be it. I’m happy you’re happy. I’ll find my happiness somewhere, someday.

Life rules.

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living. Since word travels slowly in the digital age these have only just reached me. Here they are.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
   1. Respect for self
   2. Respect for others
   3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Untitled.

This goes out to you: “Do not miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if that means you have to leave them alone in order to do so.” As I look back, I cherish all we’ve been through. I really do miss you, and I’m not over it, but I’m growing past it. I’m learning to not be so “pushy,” but I still have a lot to learn. Things won’t be the same, but if you decide to come back into my life, just know that I’m not perfect. Friend come and go, those who choose to stay will make this life worth while, but do not take any friendship for granted.

Apartment Hunt Checklist

- Fully equipped kitchen area with nice counters.
- Bathroom with storage.
- Generous closet space.
- Spacious living/dining area.
- Yard available for use.
- Within 07304, 05, 06 area.
- Close to public transportation.
- Preferable parking space.
- Storage space is a must.
- Easily accessible to stores.

Differences.

I’m a teenager. I don’t expect everything to go my way; I’m old enough to know that life’s about giving and taking. Teenagers go out- we party, we hang out late, we don’t like to be bothered. I wouldn’t say I’m normal, but to you, I’m the a rebellious hassle. I don’t deserve being put on the spot and being spoken to like an idiot. I know my faults and I lay them out on the table. I’m different, but you wouldn’t know. You have no clue who I am. Your focus is centered to them and it really isn’t fair. I’m not as bad as you make me out to be. Respect that I’m not like them, I deserve the same respect as them.

Friendship.

We hang out all the time and are constantly talking. Ijust don’t know what to make of it and I don’t want to keep you in this rut. Whenever I have a problem, I come and talk to you. You do the same when something is bothering you. We tell each other everything. You really are one of my best friends. I didn’t even think I would ever be as close to you as we are, but I’m glad we are. You’re my best friend and my body guard. You hate when I’m upset and you try to help me through my problems. I don’t like seeing you depressed, so I try to put a smile on your face as much as I can. I don’t ever want this friendship to end, because I know I can count on you and trust that you have my best interests at heart.
I just wish you didn’t let yourself get so down over the littlest things. There is no reason for you to be so hesitant to be yourself. Who are you trying to fool? I know this isn’t you and I know that you need your time and space- but pretending as if you’re perfectly fine obviously isn’t working. I know you, and you know me. I know how you act when you are fine- and this isn’t it. All I want is for you to be happy. I don’t ever want anyone I care about as much as I care about you to be down and out. It just isn’t right.
I’m basically just saying that I’m here for you and you really do have a friend in me. I trust you won’t ever hurt me or take advantage of me. You should know all I ever want is the best for you, and I will always try my best to be here for you.